A Burning Affair
by allyann
Summary: Korra and Mako despair over their confusing feelings, Mako realizes that perhaps Korra means more to him than life itself
1. Chapter 1

Korra stared out into the deep, infinite ocean, laid before her like a dark, silken carpet, tasseled in the quiet breeze. Korra propped her head on her hands, letting out a heavy breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

Her body ached, protesting against her recent activities. Helping the City rebuild was more strenuous than she had first expected. But the work was worthwhile, and while at times it was monotonous, it dragged Korra's mind from the unwelcome thoughts that lurked in the recesses of her head seeking an instance of boredom, waiting for Korra to drop her guard, so they could surface.

Ever since returning from the Pole, Korra's mind had been a finely tuned prison, bent on suppressing her most painful, disturbing thoughts, locking them away so as never to give herself the opportunity to inspect them or puzzle over them further. Her emotions were too tangled, a garbled mess of knots and kinks, each strand leading to a new and even more immeshed and entangled piece of her heart.

Mako's words, his profession of love had shot through her body like the lightning he so aptly commanded. Her heart had seized, her mind becoming delirious as waves of emotion washed over her.

She had thought that those words were what she wanted, a confession of love for her and only her. But as the words reached her ears, shooting through her heart and sinking into her very core, her mind erupted in turmoil.

_No, _her mind had swam with angst as he looked into her eyes, longing and care swirled with concern beheld in his deep amber eyes. _This isn't…..he can't be saying this…I'm not ready for this…. _Her mind clambered to make sense of her raging emotions as she spun away, scared and unprepared for the immensity of Mako's words. She had run, flying across the barren, snowy land, tears streaming across her face as the frigid air slashed at her face, the wind howling against her ears.

Korra clamped her eyes shut, willing the dark memories to die away, like a flame brushed out by the cool marine breeze. Unfortuanetly her heart wasn't privy to this idea.

"You have Asami….Mako she needs you after everything that has happened…." Korra's own voice echoed in her ear, recalling the desperate conversation the two had held upon returning from the Pole. Mako stood, tall and slender, hand bracing himself against the wooden column beside the door frame. His shoulders hunched as he leaned against his hand, eyes glimmering with shame and hurt, face contorted in the shadows of the room.

"I need you Korra. It took me this long to realize it, but I…I told you before I can't imagine my life without you…well now it's more than that. I don't know that I can bear my life without you," his normally confident voice wavered, his eyes narrowing as he looked away, fighting against the vulnerability in his own heart.

Korra's eyes shimmered, her heart constricting as she recognized the degree of pain she was submitting him to. She pulled her knees toward her chest, tucking her chin against her breast and looking for all the world like a the small child she had been only a few short years prior. She looked away, voice trembling as she began, "Mako…."

She looked up to see him standing there, at the edge of her bed. He extend his hand, pulling her up off the bed in one fluid motion, pulling her to him, taking in a deep, shaking breath. Her breath stoked his skin, like the whisper of delicate fingers across her chest as she nestled her head against his body, winding her body into his. His heart quaked with short, sharp tremors as he gazed down at the young Avatar. His lips brushed her forehead, warm and soft, and he felt his heart, swell, overcome with joy and happiness.

But inside Korra's mind, she struggled to juggle her own emotions, attempting to rein in the outpouring of fire and ice flooding her body, transversing her veins and incapacitating her mind.

Korra's world spun, her eyes clouding over with the tears that stung them, threatening to break forth. Her heart twisted, contorting in the darkness, absorbing the pain and turmoil in Mako's own soul, and and implanting it in her own.

Korra had heard tell that the the heart made one do strange, terrible things. And this was surely an affair of the heart, a burning, mystifying affair that Korra had no idea how to reconcile.

So she had done the only thing she knew how to do, the thing she knew she would hate herself for doing.

She pulled away from Mako's embrace, averting her eyes from his and spinning so that her back faced him. She struggled, fortifying her shield before allowing her mouth to open, giving rise to the words that sat heavy in her throat, like a great lump of rock, shredding her mouth as she whispered, "Leave Mako. You don't love me. Please….stop this now, you are only hurting me and Asami…and yourself."

"Korra please," the pain leaked out of his voice, his eyes brimming with tears as he reached for her, wanting to hold her close once more, wanting her to know the truth in his heart, to feel it in the passion of his soul.

"No!" Korra's shout surprised even her as she spun around, bursting from the room. The doors swung on their hinges, creaking a farewell as Korra plundered down the hallway.

Mako stood in the dark room, lifting his face to the cold, cutting air that flooded in through the threshold. A single tear rolled down his cheek, falling against his chest, directly over his heart. With a sick heart, Mako left the room leaving the Avatar and her home behind. But the one thing that stayed with him as he descended the stairs of the temple, barreling past the hills of the mountainside, was the daggers of Korra's words, sinking deep into his heart, drawing pain thicker than blood. As he reached the docks, it wasn't the chitter of seabirds that reverberated it his ears. It was the pounding of his own hearts and the whisper of his own words.

"I don't know that I can bear my life without you." The sun burned bright against the bay as a second tear buried itself beside Mako's heart.


	2. Chapter 2

A Burning Affair II

The air was tight, like an eternal prison suffocating the tiny quarters. It wreaked of sweat, and soiled, dirty bodies, mingling with the acrid stench of liquor. The dark interior oozed filth and depression, the sagging walls apparently refusing to withstand the dank suppression any longer.

Mako pressed the cool glass against his lips, feeling the bitter cool liquid slip down his throat, the rush of fire that accompanied it liberating his body. It was, of course, incomparable to the sort of liquid heat that consumed his entire body when Korra was around burning passion that arose in his chest, the languid pleasure that swept over him like a cascading wave. With the touch of her warm, full lips….

He pressed the bottle again to his lips, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat. His amber eyes, swollen with sleepless nights and poorly fended off tears. His body was weary, weary of fighting, of pawning over things he would never have.

He didn't deserve her and he knew that. But that didn't mean he didn't want her with every part of his being, that every piece of himself craved her touch, her voice, her laugh, her love. It was a prize to behold, a prize that must be won. But Mako, Mako had lost. And neither Korra, nor himself, were ones for consolation prizes.

Taking a shaky stance, Mako pushed himself off his barstool, guzzling the last of his drink with a decisive gulp. He slammed it on the bar, sending the echo of the collision reverberating across the room, earning a reproachful look from the bartender. With a leaden heart Mako stalked toward the doors, swinging them open with a cold fury and crossing the threshold, into the twilight beyond.

Korra flung herself over onto her stomach, turning and pulling her blankets tighter around her in a nest of insomnia. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her energetic mind to quiet, to let her drift into the sweet realms of sleep.

But no such luck was handed to Korra as she stared at the wall, her eyes boring into the darkness. Her mind spun, replaying images she had struggled to suppress since she had first lived them. Mako's face, the pain in his eyes, the contortion of his face as his face drowned in torment. His shoulders sagging with grief as he had walked the docks, boarding the ferry over to the City.

His words cut into Korra's memories now, like ice shooting right through her skin, feeling her to the bone. "I don't know that I can bear my life without you." His words were like daggers, shooting through her mind as she turned over once more, then refuted. She swung her feet to the cold, stone ground, pushing herself to her feet and drowsily exiting the temple.

She found herself absentmindedly creeping towards the stables, letting her feet pave the way as her mind stretched the expanses of her memory, her thoughts deteriorating to the sad, mournful thoughts of Mako. She hadn't seen him since that day, since she had destroyed his hopes of being with her, since part of her heart had disintegrated, leaving a gaping, irreparable hole in her heart. The memories haunted the recesses of her mind, surfacing now to throw Korra's thoughts into turmoil as she danced through the moonlight. As she pulled up next to Naga, burying her face into the polar bear dog's fur, she willed her mind to disappear, willed past and present to disappear, to live and feel only for the now. Unfortunately that was impossible.

"Oh Naga," Korra's own voice sounded weak, cracking in the quiet of the still night. "Where is he?" She breathed heavily, letting her body wrack with the overload of fears and anxiety that was dammed up inside her body. Her heart churned, her mind stewing over the feelings that were bubbling up, slowly drawing her attention. Her hair bristled on the nape of her neck, and she knew the truth, seeping through the air and surrounding her, until she was drowning in it, gasping for air.

Mako was not alright and Korra knew it. She felt it, like a brandish searing her heart. No matter how much he infuriated her, he was still her best friend, she couldn't leave her thoughts of her, even if they were despicably confusing.

"Come on Naga, we're going to find him," Korra said with a small sigh, sliding easily onto Naga's back and spurring her own, feeling the methodic pulse of Naga's feet against the ground, willing the steady rhythm to dull her thoughts and squelch the rising tide of emotions in her heart.

The moon glistened against the water of the bay, kissing the delicate surface with light. Mako's eyes glistened as he buried his feet into the soft cool earth, feeling the winds caress his bare chest like delicate fingers soothing his burning skin. He heard the waves thrashing against the stone cliff, bursting against the ragged rocks, the terse stones tearing against the smooth surface, like Korra's words had through Mako's heart.

His chest rose as he took a deep breath, lifting his chin to the sky, eyes pulled shut. The frigid air clipped at his hair, the night surrounding him in a regrettable embrace, the moonlight illuminating his slender, toned figure. He took a step towards the edge of the cliff, feeling a delirium spread across his mind, like a hazy sheet cast over his being. His heart began to pound, as he took another step, feeling the firm ground supporting him. He knew his next step wouldn't be met with the surety of the earth, but instead the suppleness, the emptiness of the air. Freedom would be the reward for his next step, everything lost in the soothing air. Pain would depart, misery sliding off of him like oil against water. With one more step…..

His body froze with her voice, the sound sending chills racing across his skin. "Mako." His name was like a song drifting off her tongue and then he was all too aware of where he was. Like a bucket of cold water sprayed on him, Korra's present had awaken Mako from his stupor. He turned slightly, just enough to glimpse Korra out of the corner of his eye.

Her hair was unbound, laying wildly against her face, her clothes wrinkled with sleep, or rather lack there of. The eyes shined in the moonlight, their blue depths revealing concern and worry. She stepped forward timidly, only a few feet from Mako when he whispered, "How did you find me?"

"Bolin. I…I asked him where he thought you would be if you were…upset. He told me here. He said…." Korra took another step closer, closing the distance between them.

"He told me this is where you used to go with your father." Korra's voice trailed off, as Mako gave a slight nod, truing to face her, amber eyes writhing with pain, moonlight casting haunting shadows on his face.

"Why are you here?" His voice was hollow, his mind still delirious from the liquor. His breath was hot on Korra's face as she spoke.

"I'm here because…..I won't let you do this." She gestured to the cliff, to the freedom Mako had been only moments away from grasping.

"Why? Korra…I told you I don't know if life without you is worth living. I….."

"Mako you aren't without me! I am confused, you already knew that. But this isn't the solution. You can't run away from your problems, no matter how much you want to. You are strong enough to fight through it. And besides.." Korra pulled Mako to her, letting him feel the warmth of her body against his icy skin, the tickle of her hair against his chin.

"Just because we can't be together right now, it doesn't mean we never can," Korra felt heat rush to her face as Mako's eyes burned with a lost hope. "Give me some time to think…to figure things out. Until then….we were friends before. We can still be." She stroked his cheek, sliding her fingers down against the curve of his collarbone, resting her palm over his pounding heart. He bought her hand in his, pressing hers against his chest, lifting her eyes to his with a gentle pull of his other hand. Hers shimmered with care and an undiagnosed love that gave Mako a new spirit, stirring a new passion within the depths of his heart. _I love you_ his eyes whispered, shimmering with the moonlight, amber mixing with the eerie glow, revealing a deep golden gaze that stopped Korra's breath.

"Time…I can give you that." He pulled Korra into his arms, pressing her to him in a long, embrace, feeling her warmth radiate against his, thawing his frostbitten heart. The heart that longed for her, that pined over her, that wanted more than anything to be with her. But for now, he would convince his heart to wait, content himself with a close friendship that he hoped would pave the path to more.

"Come on," she whispered, hot breath dancing across his skin, as she smiled against his bare chest, feeling the thunder of his heart against her cheek. She pulled away, her hand lingering on his as she pulled him away from the cliff, away from his eternal freedom, and back into the realms of reality, littered with pain, suffering, and confusion. But at least here, he could feel something, even if it tore through his body, tormenting him to his very core. This was better than an eternity of nothing at all.

After dropping Mako off at his quarters and replacing Naga to her place in the stables, tucking her in with a kiss and cooing words of comfort and praise, Korra tiptoed back to the segment of the temple where her room was. In the hall before her room a dark, strong figure stood, coming towards her as she slunk down the corridor.

"Korra," Iroh's voice was a rough whisper, his golden eyes burning with concern, glimmering in the shadows of the lanterns painting the corridor walls. "Is everything okay?"

He stepped closer, removing the distance between the two. His warm chest rose with every breath and his whispered words sent chills through her spine, rekindling the emotions that had first set her heart into turmoil. Her head spun as her heart quivered, threatening to erupt with her unspoken feelings. The wave of emotions rose to a peak as she flung her arms around Iroh, who pulled her body into his strong, warm arms. Her body was pressed against his, craning for his touch as he stroked her hair, whispering into Korra's ears, phrases she didn't catch, too absorbed in her inner bewilderment to pay any attention. She buried her head into Iroh's chest, letting the methodic beat of his heart lull her into serenity.

"No," she replied at last, whispering against his chest, feeling her mind fade into a delirium of emotions she wasn't sure how to escape. "No, I don't think it is," she let her words sink into to Iroh's chest, his warm arms holding her, blocking her from the world. He pressed his warm lips against her forehead, whispering to her in the cold, darkness of the hallway. And there he held her as she felt warm tears slide down her face, falling from her chin and hidden from all the world, everybody save for one.


End file.
